Rediscovering Love

2 Corinthians 4:15-18

2 Things I’ve been thinking about recently: weeping and the Holy Spirit. Its kinda weird that I’m thinking about weeping, but I will explaiinnn.

The Holy Spirit weeps for and over us daily. He constantly is praying that we will be filled with His spirit and follow Him. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I also thing that he weeps and prays for us to weep and cry out to the Lord. He desperately wants for our hearts to be broken for the things that break God’s heart. Ezekiel 33:18 says, “Son of man, weep for the hordes of Egypt and for the other mighty nations.” During that time, the might nations had fallen to sin and had a hopeless future ahead. God told Ezekiel to to be broken for Egypt and those nations so that he would realize the urgency for the nations and that he would effectively share the message God was about to give him.

We are called to weep. But the last thing I want you to get from this is to read this and then weep every night and lice a sad crappy life with no change in you and the world. That would be depressing. Jus sayin. But what I want you to realize that in order for us to sense the urgency that our brothers and sisters may be going to hell, we must fall before the Lord in humility and mourn for our friends, family, nation, and our world. In the book of Nehemiah, Nehemiah was told that his nation (Jerusalem) had fallen and the walls had been torn down. When he heard this, he fell before the Lord and wept. He mourned. He fasted. He prayed (Neh. 1:4). He was so broken for his country that he had to do something about it. He couldn’t just sit there and let it happen. So, he went to Jerusalem and rebuilt the wall and restored the land.

I cannot tell you enough how important that story is in our own lives. We need to weep for the ones we love. We need to weep for our nation. For our world. It is crucial that we fall before our God and be broken for the things that break his heart. When we are broken, we can effectively take action! We now know and feel the urgency running through our veins. We can now take back what the enemy is stealing from us.

In the song, “Those Who Dream”, Kristene Mueller sings, “Those who sow in tears will reap in joyful shouting.” Weeping is just the first part in this journey! When we humbly cry out to God in brokenness for the lost and take action, we will find ourselves celebrating in the end! We will never know when that “end” will be, though. Most of us will only fully know when we go to heaven. One thing that we must never, ever forget is that His timing is perfect. But, lets not use God’s perfect timing as an excuse to be lazy. Take the few opportunities that you have and use them to change the world.

There are so many people on there way to Hell. What are YOU going to do about it?

My inspiration :) (Taken with instagram)

So here’s the thing. I was listening to Jake Hamilton today (the song..Looking For One). And I felt so convicted.

God’s looking for someone that will not give up. Someone that will not look back. Someone that is so in love with Him that He is all they think about. And someone that will stand in the gap for others.

And I have been so inconsistent this year. I got close to giving up. I looked back. I let other things become my first love. I didn’t pray for the ones I love.

It pains me to think about how I’ve treated Him. And every time I ask for forgiveness, I find myself failing him the next day, and going back to the person I was.

I desperately want God to use me. I want to be the one that will shake the earth and make a difference in the world. I want to be faithful to my Creator.

But as I think about it, God knows the cries of my heart. And I know for a FACT that he is NOT looking to use a perfect person. No one likes perfect people. He’s looking for me. Ordinary me. The most imperfect person I know…Me.

Almost everyday, I have to refocus my thoughts to Jesus and fix my eyes to Him. I know I will fail him, but I will never give up. And he will never give up on me. 

My friend did a short sermon for fine arts last week, and she said that when Peter went with Jesus to walk on water, Peter let his eyes off of Jesus and almost drowned in the water. But get this. Jesus DID NOT let his eyes off of Peter. He did not give up on Him. And Jesus is not gonna give up on me or you. No matter how far we are from Him.

I am not perfect, but I will do my best to be relentless to a relentless God. He wants to use me! And He wants to use you too. Together, lets start a revival and shake this earth with the love of Christ.

Hey all. Sorry I haven’t posted in like a month :/ I’ve just been so busy. I really don’t know what to write about…….

To be honest, this month has been really hard. I’m not gonna lie and say that everything’s been alright. cuz it hasn’t. Being in a new place is hard. Making friends is hard. Its just..hard. But your prayers mean so much to me. forreal.

I’ve come to a realization that people aren’t gonna come talk to me and get to know me. and Its time to change that. Sooo I’m gonna talk to them. In fact, I was talking to my best friend yesterday, and I was challenging her to go out and talk to people she doesn’t know at church and invite them to youth group…and I realized that I need to challenge myself to do that. Its time to get past the  ”awkward” when eternity is on the line. Ya never know. They might be hurting! In fact they are hurting. We’re all hurting. If we have the answer, the only answer, why are we so scared of that one little moment of “awkward” when eternity is involved?

Just a thought :)

OHHHHHHHH! one more thing: 

We’re starting a prayer/worship night at my church for students. We’re calling it project 242. (for acts 2:42-47…look it up!) Its every 1st Friday of every month starting in March. Its gonna be AMAZING. If you’re reading this now…you should really consider coming. Everyone and anyone is welcome. If you need more info about it, let me know…there’ll be a facebook page soon so be on the lookout. Don’t miss out on a lifechanging experience :)

So…I know I haven’t written in a while. Sorry :/ But I still have no idea what to write about…wait. Now I do! ahaaha Here goes :)

I’ve been dreaming for revival. For my generation. That this would be the year that a spiritual awakening would happen. And that I would be apart of it.

But I’ve been realizing that it’s a process. And it takes ALOT of prayer. ALOT. Ever since I was in 6th grade, I have been praying for revival in the church. And its taken awhile for me to realize that God has not forgotten my dream. Instead, He’s been preparing me for it. His timing is perfect. Forreal.

Things like in Jr. High, God had given me such a heart for my school. And I thought that that would be the time of revival. But like always, God had other things in mind. He gave me opportunities to just be a Jonathan to people. To always be there for anyone who needs it. And through that, I have made some amazing friends. And even better, they are one by one receiving Christ. Even after I move away!

For Fine Arts this year, I am doing a worship dance solo. The song I’m dancing to is about Mary (ya know, Jesus’ mother?) and her struggles of not knowing if she can do what God wants her to do. God gave her a big task…especially because she was probably younger than I am and she was nothing really important in that society. Some of the lyrics go like this “All this time we’ve waited for the promise. All this time You’ve waited for my arms. Did you wrap yourself inside the unexpected, so we might know that love would go that far?” I am waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled in my life. But He fulfills them in unexpected ways. He does this so we can see His glory and love. Like Chris Caine said in the Code Orange Revival (http://elevationnetwork.com/), God’s promises don’t have an expiration date. He doesn’t forget about them. His ways are not our ways. But they are better. So much better.

So I know all of you are wondering how my first week of school went. And to be honest with you, it was really hard. And not fun at all. But thats normal for the first week. And some interesting/awk things happened (they’ll make you laugh…but have not yet made me laugh haha) (but they aren’t THAT funny, so feel free to not laugh)

• The school is HUGE. And all the halls look the same. like forreal. It’s so so so confusing. So I walked out of my math class, and I had no idea where the auditorium was (which was where my next class was-orchestra). I aimlessly walked the halls wondering where it was. I finally found it and got my violin from another room. I came into class and NO ONE was in there! So by now I’m ten minutes late to class and a meltdown was about to start. ahaha. I found the front office and asked for a late pass (since I’m new, they are so nice and will do anything to help me. HALLEJULAH). Then I said that there was no one in the room. So me and one of the staff walked over there, found the teacher and she said everyone was in lunch. (I’m still trying to figure out why they didn’t put lunch on my schedule…Dumb school). So I went to lunch and had a pleasant rest of the day. End of my somewhat interesting story.
• Another awk story: I was in class and this boy came up to me and just stared at me. I could tell he was trying to say something, but nothing came out haha. (I’m starting to think that maybe he was put up to it…but how should I know?) So I awkwardly said “Hi”. And he introduced himself and left. Weird…Thats the end of my awk story.
• Interesting story: So I was in homeroom and was trying to figure out where I was going next when I realized that I left my schedule at home! Without it, I have NO IDEA where to go. ahaha. So my first impulse was to text my mom and ask her to bring it to me. I tried to text real fast so I wouldn’t get caught with it. Then a teacher that I didn’t even know walked up, grabbed it, and left the room. My day was already not going well so I was on the brink of another meltdown when I realized that the guidance office could print it out for me (of course I realize AFTER I get my phone taken away…stupid Kristi…) After class, I ran to the guidance office, and I ended up going to the guidance office 5 more times that day (3 of the times were useless and unimportant. Waste of my time). haha. End of interesting story.

So there are some stories (hopefully they were interesting). Thanks for praying for me. Keep prayin. I need ‘em. I know i’m  gonna make a difference there. I just havent figured out how yet. But I will. And for now, I’m just gonna be a friend to everyone I run into and encounter :)

So I wasn’t sure what to call this post…because there are multiple things I’ve rediscovered. Sorry to disappoint :/

I start school tomorrow! And now I’m really nervous. ahaha prayers would be greatly appreciated :) 

Last night I was doing my devos and journaling. I usually wouldn’t do this…but I feel like I should share what I wrote. Here it is:

Jesus, 

So I was listening to the song, “Climb” by Will Reagen & the United Pursuit. It said, “I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven and Earth…I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.” And it clicked. I’m not going to understand the things you do. No matter how hard I try, I can’t comprehend why you do things the way you do.

No longer will I base my feelings and trust in myself. From now on my trust is in you, in your strength. My trust is in the smartest, all knowing, God of the Universe.

My hands are no longer in my pockets. They are no longer comfortable. They are now raised in the air. I’m surrendering everything, all that I have, to you and your power. I WILL climb this mountain with my hands wide open.

This is my New Year’s Resolution.

~Kristi Anna

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been reading 1 Samuel. Its awesome how many amazing stories there are in the Bible. I discovered two things while reading last night:

1. The recurring theme of friendship. Jonathan sets such a great example for each of us. He was next in line to be King after Saul (because he was Saul’s son), BUT, God chose David to be King (if that happened to me, I’d be SO mad). But Jonathan never got mad or bitter at David. Instead, he befriended David. Numerous times, Jon had the opportunity to turn his back on David and kill him (since his dad told him everything), but he remained faithful to his best friend. It makes me realize that I have so many friends like Jonathan. I’ll be honest, I have hurt my friends before…but they’ve always stayed faithful to me and forgave me. (If you are one of those amazing friends, I love youu) I am so so grateful for them. Like Jonathan was always there for David, they are always there for me. It also makes me want to be like Jonathan. I want to always be there for my friends, and even people who aren’t my friends (or another way to put it, people that annoy me). I want to be a Jonathan to everyone I cross paths with.

2. God’s plan is usually opposite of ours. In 1 Samuel 23, (it happens many times in Davids story, but I was reading this particular one last night) David asked God if the leaders of Keilah will betray him (David and his men rescued the Keilah people from the Philistines). And God tells David that they will, in fact, betray them after all they did for them. Why would God do that? Well…lets keep reading. So David and his men leave Keilah and hide. When Saul asks the leaders of Keilah where he is, they tell him exactly where they are. So Saul finds them. And now we’re thinking…oh gosh. David is going to die! And just as Saul goes in to kill David and destroy his men…Saul gets a message that the Philistines are invading Isreal. So he stops going after David. And David flees and hides in safety. And it makes me think…God loves showing His greatness in our weakness. David couldn’t do anymore but to trust God. He gave up on his weak strength and gave in to the powerful strength of our Lord. God says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Psalm 69:30-33 “Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving. For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle. more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves. The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged. For the Lord hears the cries of the needy; he does not despise his imprisoned people.”

These verses mean alot to me. If you read the whole chapter, the Psalmist (David) says that pretty much everything is going wrong. People hate him, his enemies are winning, and he’s guilty from making alot of mistakes.

BUT. Even in all of his pain, he STILL gives praises God. He could’ve blamed God for all the stuff, but instead, He thanks God for it all. Because He knows that the Lord hears us. He knows that God keeps ALL of His promises. He knows that when we are weak, He is so strong.

In life, we WILL have hard times. That’s when we have to choose if we still want to be a living sacrifice for His kingdom, or to just go do our own thing. When my family moved, I had a choice to either forget God or to be a leader here. And I’m so glad I made the choice to be a leader! God’s doing amazing things here.

Well. that’s all God put on my heart today. Merry Christmas! :)

Acts 8:4

So I registered for public school today! I’ll be starting after Christmas Break :)

I’m not as nervous as I used to be…it’s weird. I feel such a peace about it all and that this is exactly where God wants me to be. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still nervous, but I’m confident. The kids and teachers seem really nice. And It also seemed that there are ALOT of short people. THANK THE LORD! I won’t be alone!! ahaha :)

I’m really excited for what God’s gonna do through me in the new year. I’ve been realizing how much He has already used me looking back. But anyways, for a couple months now, I’ve been surrounded with amazing followers of Jesus…but I haven’t met any lost people. And though I need to have good solid Christian people in my life, I also need non Christians in my life. (if you think about it, Jesus hardly spent any time with religious people. He spent most of His time with the sinners.) They are what motivate me. Without them, I don’t know what I’d do with my life. haha. That’s why I’m SO excited to go back to school. So that I can be Jesus to the broken, lost, hurt, abandoned students that are my age. Like I said in my post yesterday…my dream is to see students walk everyday in the school hallways in the presence of God and be on fire for Jesus. 

I miss my Maryland home alot. But if you offered me a bazilliontrillion bucks to move back, I wouldn’t. Because I know that God has ordained this move and He has raised me up to be a leader to the teens in VA. I know that He is gonna do something GIGANTIC in my new church and school and neighborhood. This generation is gonna shake the planet one day.

For some reason this week, I’ve been thinking alot about Christ’s Love and why He died for us. Of course, He died for our sins. So that we don’t have to make animal sacrifices and so on. But then I started thinking…before He died, we had no access to His presence and His Spirit. Only important people like priests or whatever could enter in. And I don’t know about you, but I can’t go one day without His presence. His presence is so amazing and wonderful. Just knowing that He’s with me has brought me through some of my toughest times. And I wish that everyone knew the awesomeness of it. One of my dreams is that when I start public school (which will happen after Christmas break), that a fire would ignite throughout the school. That kids would walk each day in the presence of God.

So. If Christ never died, we would live with this overwhelming longing to be in His presence. BUT. He did die (and rose again of course). And it says in the Bible that the moment He was hung on that cross, the veil was torn. (for those of you who have no idea what the veil is: it was a curtain in the Jewish temple that entered into the Holy room (Holy of Holies). Only the priests and such could enter. And in the room was the presence of God.) so when the veil was torn, EVERYONE could enter in. Now, EVERYONE in this world has access to it. I’m smiling just writing about it. haha.

It’s love that compelled (YEA FINE ARTS!) Jesus to die on the cross. He made it possible for us to walk in his presence each day. I’m SO thankful for this love. I’m thankful for a God that wants to walk and talk with me (Its kinda like Adam and Eve, we get to walk and talk with Him! The only difference is that we can’t physically see Him. Bummer. But one day…we will) 

Well…even though Jesus’ death and resurrection is the most common thing that we learn in Christianity and sometimes the most boring (or think of it this way, if you ever go to FAF, the human videos with Jesus are usually the most annoying ones because it’s used way too often), its the most important thing we will ever learn. Just think. The God of the universe is the same God that is totally in love with us. His presence really is all that we need! :)

All we have to do is ask for it. Matthew 7:11 says, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” God doesn’t want to force anything on us. If we don’t want His presence (idk why anyone wouldn’t), He’s not gonna give it to us. But if we relentlessly ask, we can walk in His amazing presence and be in His wonderful Love everyday.